I recently saw a comment in a question that has me puzzled.?

I don't think its about trampling rights. I think that most adoptees who are in reunion with their mothers are looking for a relationship with their *mother*. I expect a mother to sometimes put their child first. I expect someone who wants me to call them my "real mother" to worry about my needs first, to make things easier for me, and to put herself outside her comfort zone for me. Not always, but sometimes. Thats what a mother does. Personally, I wasn't adopted in the BSE. My mom could have had access within parameters. That was to hard for her, so she took off (not once, not twice, but thrice). Now that we are in reunion I am expected to act like an adult and even to mother her. In all honesty, I sometimes feel that if she didn't want to be back in my life to be my mom, then why does she want to be back in my life?